All about Me

Let me start by telling about myself:
Hi! I'm Vicky. This is me trying to wave with short chubby arms:

Above is my attempt to draw a realistic representation of me complete with large ears, nose, mouth, and freezing cold feet. (You can't see it, but my toes are blueish.) I'm also wearing pajamas.

Below are some major points that define me:

1. I like to swim, read, write, draw, bathe, and breathe. 

2. I volunteer at a local hospital as a transporter, which means I discharge patients. While working, I let others do all the talking which often times means there are a lot of awkward silences that I take all the credit for. 

3. Most of my friends know me as the quiet one who doesn't move much and is a bit off. The rest of them know better. I'm not quiet, I wiggle like a maniac and I'm more than "a bit" off. And by "off" I mean off my rocker, insane, nonsensical, weird, strange, abnormal, odd, crazy, mental, mad, retarded, schizophrenic, and/or otherwise impaired. I talk to things.

4. I have ADHD, and OCD, which might seem a bit contradictory, but it provides constant amusement for me seeing which side of my mental impairment will be triumphant this time.

5. Dogs are the mutated embodiment of the perfect human mixed with a hobbit. They love everything, tolerate anything, eat healthy, are selfless, and are only saddened by the sadness of others. If every human were like dogs, the world would be better and would probably smell like bones and old tennis shoes.

6. Cell phones are a necessary evil. They disrupt, disturb, deafen, distract, detract, delay, disconnect and are all together despicable things. They're also nearly impossible to hear through. However, they are needed, which I admit to despite my strong feelings of vengeance towards them. grr

7. I like numbering things. It makes me happy. So do shapes, llamas. and the word "dramatic."

9. I hate the number 8. I can't process it. It's like it just never goes through my ear or eye all the way. I also have troubles saying the words "Cash register," "drawer," and "turquoise," despite the fact that I am a self-proclaimed Master of Tongue Twisters.

10. Last and least, I have an important announcement for you!!! It's very exciting!! Drum roll please.....YOU HAVE REACHED THE END! Congrats! Here, have a cookie.